graduate school.

I wanted to let you all know my big news: I am going to graduate school in Boston for the next 12 months! Woohoo!

I didn’t have internet access for a few weeks and then I finally got it set up this week only to find out that I have a broken router and now I have to wait for a new one to arrive in the mail!!

I have literally flipped my whole world around in order to make this possible and it feels so strange. I’m definitely not used to any of it yet, and there are so many changes that come with it all. By the way, I HATE change, just in case I haven’t ever expressed that before.

3 Things I wish I had known about grad school ahead of time:

(1) When you don’t live on campus, it is impossible to know what you are doing. You will basically go broke within the first week of grad school. I didn’t know that I was actually eligible for student loans but at first I thought I was but then I didn’t think I had enough credits.  I was all confused. I paid over $3,000 out of pocket for my summer tuition and now I am absolutely screwed (with $$) and I have no idea where the financial aid office is or who to talk to. People are NOT helpful by email. 

(2) If your advisor is not teaching a summer class… they will pretty much disappear and suck at answering your questions via email. I mean me asking you what specific physical education class I should take over the summer, having tried to search on three different occasions, and you responding with “any physical education class…” complete with the ellipsis to treat me like I’m some kind of dumbass. I’m just trying to make my full-time semesters a little bit less hectic, but you know, thank you for the ellipsis because that really helped me solve ALL OF MY PROBLEMS. 

(3) Being in grad school is just plain hard. Everyone else plays Pokemon Go in my class so I downloaded it and now they are all looking at me like I’m crazy because it’s almost like I copied them, which I basically did so that I could fit in better. Everyone is younger than me. Everyone has established possees and cliques and here I am just having moved here and having basically ZERO friends around and everyone looks at me like I have fourteen heads when I try to talk to them. Having to sit through 3 hours straight of math is hard enough but even harder when not a single person wants to be your friend and you work in groups every single class. 

So basically, so far, I’ve bought a lot of crap I didn’t need because I’m stressed out that my savings are gone because I had to pay for my classes out of pocket. I never said I was reasonable or intelligent guys. I tend to dig myself in humungous holes and wonder how I got down there to begin with.

I also am living with my grandmother which has taught me a few things:

(1) Old people are more popular than I can ever hope to be. And did you know that it is RUDE not to pick up the phone if you are in the middle of something? YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CALL PEOPLE BACK LATER. NO WAY!

(2) If your three-month-old kitten tries to steal your grandmother’s glasses, he is terrifying and we should all be afraid of him. But, we can’t kick him out of the room and put him in the hall way so he stops.

(3) For once, you’ll live with someone who drinks less water than you do. You’ll sound like a nagging biotch of a mother by how many times you harass your grandmother to drink water daily.

(4) It’s not acceptable to leave ANY of your stuff lying around the common areas. If you leave recyclable bottles anywhere except in the garage they will be put on the table in a huge pile and nobody will use their words to ask you to take care of anything.

(5) Things that literally are stupidly freaking hilarious like the fat that Siri’s favorite animal is a Tauntaun but only when it’s cold, are NOT FUNNY.

(6) It is more important to wash the kitchen floor by hand or to walk up and down the stairs to do your laundry than to breathe. Especially when someone else offers to help. Just. Say. NO.

(7) Your girl cat is suddenly a BOY and your boy cat is suddenly a GIRL. Boy cat is too skinny even though he is a baby!

(8) You will no longer be able to just do your own thing without giving a heavy detailed explanation before you leave the house.

(9) Things that used to take 5 minutes will take hours because your grandmother will not stop talking to you.

(10) If you tell someone that you’ve heard the same story from your grandmother 17 times (which is obviously an estimate but probably not an exaggeration) you will be the bad guy and be given dirty looks.

(11) If you tell your grandmother you are working a wedding on a Saturday, you told her Sunday. And by god you are confusing her on purpose because you obviously said the wrong day and she should have been recording you to prove her point.

(12) Donald Trump is making the republican party LOOK BAD!!!!

(12) Demi Lovato was wearing a horrible outfit on 4th of July and she looked like she was wearing her underwear.

(13) You now are completely (and might I add, repeatedly) familiar with the drama of your grandmother’s friend who lives down the road. And the drama of basically every other friend and family member who calls on the phone. Except you overhear the conversation, and then it gets told to you again 400 times after you overhear the phone conversation.

(14) Do people really wear short shorts?

(15) When your bra straps show, that is not acceptable.

(16) It is also not acceptable to offer to carry a fan downstairs for your grandmother.

(17) If you can lift the trash can without a dolly, you are superwoman.

(18) Grandmothers who have never tried pad thai become addicted to pad thai.

(19) Your collapsable blue outdoor chair your parents gave to your for your 27th birthday is the most important item that you own. Your roommates would have stolen it if you had not brought it to Massachusetts or probably claimed it as their own and not given it back.

(20) The bottoms of your pans are supposed to be shiny and beautiful. You’re just not supposed to use your pans to cook. People really buy non-stick pans too and then wonder why they look so dirty from things sticking to them.

(21) Your grandmother will suddenly realize one day that you’ve been living on your own for 5 years and it’s no wonder you came with so many of your own belongings.

(22) You will have a hard time keeping your stuff confined to one bedroom. Your grandmother will question when you put your stuff in another room only to realize that it’s actually her stuff and her stuff is IN YOUR ROOM.

(23) Every day you wear something new you will get a fashion critique whether you ask for it or not.

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summary.

So, let’s talk about what I’ve been up to lately. There are barely enough hours in the day to keep up with it all. I’ve been trying to be productive since 2016 started. I think I’ve done fairly well…

Within the past few months I:

  • Applied for my passport to be renewed
  • Finished my three grad school applications
  • Applied for my Ed Tech renewal, which I need for my current job
  • Signed up for the PRAXIS, and studied as hard as I could
  • Took the PRAXIS which took ALMOST FIVE HOURS
  • Paid $500 for my precious baby kitty to have a dental surgery/procedure
  • Found out my mom has a heart problem (on christmas day)
  • Seen my mom go through two heart procedures
  • Found out there are irregular cells on my pap smear and thought I was going to die from cancer
  • Had my cervix biopsied in two places and nearly fainted when I saw all of the blood
  • Visited all three potential grad schools
  • Got accepted to all three grad schools
  • Sprained my thumb really painfully at work
  • Wrote pages and pages in a journal but didn’t quite get to blogging a lot of it due to everything else
  • Been put on an anti-depressant for my anxiety
  • Pretty much been diagnosed with IBS by my new doctor
  • Barely gotten any financial aid from ANY of the grad schools
  • Have been put on an elimination diet to attempt to reduce all the stomach problems I’ve been suffering from (probably due to IBS & stress)
  • Have mostly stopped drinking ever since I was put on my new medication
  • Done everything to avoid my roommate who is making me miserable on a daily basis usually just by being around but also by doing verbally aggressive and passive aggressive things directly to me

So what I realized last night is that: my life is completely ridiculous and my mind is absolutely random but I still have a little bit of faith that maybe it will all work out. 

And it’s this ridiculously and randomness that keeps me writing as much as I can. Welcome to Random Ramblings, people.

List.

Over the weekend, I started to read the book ‘168 Hours- You Have More Time Than You Think’ by Laura Vanderkam. I find Laura’s stories of successful individuals to be highly interesting and inspiring as well. I haven’t even made it through the book halfway yet but I know that it’s going to help me immensely.

The book really puts wasted time into perspective. You don’t say, “I don’t have time for that,” you instead say “that’s not a priority for me.” The book talks about focusing on a few major “core competencies” or things that you are passionate about and want to spend the majority of your time getting better at. I’m still learning more about myself each time I read it and each day I think more about how what I’ve read applies to me.

The most inspiring lesson of the book I have read so far is the encouragement to begin “The List of 100 Dreams”. This is a fluctuating, endless list of things that you want to accomplish whether it be as simple as “I am going to fix that bookshelf” or as complex as “I will get a doctorate degree.” I think that this list is the most important part of the book for me and it will still stick with me for years to come. I will definitely do my best to cross off the items I put on my list, as often and as much as I can. This is what I have so far… I would love to hear your own versions if you feel inspired to create your own list!

My List of 100 Dreams

1. Take a dance class
2. Publish a novel
3. Take a painting class
4. Teach Yoga
5. Travel to Alaska
6. Go back to Spain
7. Get my masters degree
8. Run a 10k
9. Go rock climbing again but this time make it to the top
10. Own a house
11. Have a giant walk-in closet
12. Have a successful garden
13. Have a library in my house
14. Learn ASL
15. Fall in love
16. Figure out my dream job
17. Have my dream job
19. Have kids
20. Go to Italy
21. Be a foster parent
22. Hike Mt. Katahdin
23. Ski again
24. Visit Machu Picchu
25. Visit the Eiffel Tower
26. Go whale watching
27. Swim with dolphins
28. Take surfing lessons
29. Take a cooking class
30. See Niagara Falls
31. Achieve 200 followers on Random Ramblings
32. Take a song writing class
33. Get Published on Huffington Post
34. Publish a Children’s Novel

recommendations.

I have a few material possessions that I simply cannot live without. I just wanted to share them with you all. Let me know what you think.

Random Ramblings’ Possessions That Every Woman Should Own

(1) Every girl should own a black bra and a nude bra.

Ladies, there is nothing okay with seeing your bra through your shirt (yes, straps are the exception). I know that I am not the classiest bitch, but I can only stress that you appear trashy if your boobs are looking colorful. I’m just saying. If you absolutely must wear a colorful bra because it’s the only one that fits or for some other reason, wear a tank top that is as close in color to the shirt you are wearing as possible over your colorful bra.

(2) Every girl should own L. L. Bean boots.

No, I do not work for L. L. Bean, but seeing as the popularity this past winter around christmastime made it impossible to track them down, the importance of these world-known boots is inarguable. Obviously if you live in Tahiti or Florida or something then you don’t really need them. I can’t stress how much of a difference they made me during this most recent winter. Last winter, all of my boots got destroyed from snow, sand, and salt during the winter and I wasted so much money on good boots only to have them get ruined later on.

My Bean boots still look brand spanking new. The company also has exceptional return policies and warrantees and what not, so they were a great investment and come highly recommended from my exceptional opinion (which is obviously solid gold)

(3) Every girl needs a pair of tight skinny jeans.

Express is my go-to for jeans, but everyone has their favorite place that makes the right fit. I prefer darker jeans, but that’s just my personal preference. I’m just emphasizing that skinny jeans look good no matter what you pair them with. The tighter the jeans, the hotter your ass will look.

(4) Every girl needs clear nail polish at home.

If you don’t have time for the 400 layers that a manicure takes or want to save money by avoiding the salon, I highly recommend a coat of clear polish. Your nails will look shiny and if you are a biter/picker like I am, it will provide a barrier to all the urges to pick and pry.

(5) Every girl needs a solid collection of black panties.

Black panties are an essential part of my wardrobe. ESSENTIAL. I’m telling you, there is nothing better than not having to deal with stains from that monthly visitor that decides to ruin our clothes. Black underwear, or black clothing in general, looks sexy. Black is slimming. Black is important to your wardrobe right down to the underthings. Abide by that rule.

(6) Every girl needs a black mini skirt.

This is for those tricky shirts that don’t seem to match anything else. Like I said before, black is slimming, and a black mini skirt will compliment any outfit perfectly.

(7) Every girl needs a pair of cute, strappy, flat sandals for the summertime.

I mean as much as I love flip flops, they just look trashy, especially when you wear them to work. At least a well-fitting sandal won’t fall off of your foot. Sandals can be dressed up or down quite easily. They should be staple in every girl’s wardrobe and should match your most-worn color (for example, my usual pair is black. I am so predictable.)

(8) Every girl should own a pair of pearl earrings.

Nothing says class or dresses an outfit up better than a beautiful pair of pearls. If you’re not into pearls, try diamond studs or silver hoops. They don’t have to be expensive, they just have to be shiny.

(9) Every girl should own a good moisturizer and use it daily.

I use Burt’s Bees and while I know I should use it all over my body each day, I always use it on my face since that is the most important part of the body to keep moisturized. I recommend using unscented lotions on your face whenever possible. If the lotion is a good one, make sure the scents are at least a of a lighter quality. Your skin on your face does not need to smell like Bath and Body Works threw up all over it.

(10) Every girl should own a jean jacket.

The 90s are back and I am absolutely a fan.

(11) Every girl should own a black cardigan.

Again, black is super important to me. It should happen for everyone. If you are not a fan of black, having a neutral cardigan is key to any location where winter is an issue. I would recommend white, grey, tan, or even brown to make any outfit just a little bit cuter (and/or warmer).

(12) Every girl should own a sweater dress.

If you live in California or something, this probably sounds pretty stupid, but here in New England, it is absolutely for gatherings in the winter time where you need to look a little dressy but need to stay warm. Pair it with some leggings and cute boots, and you are golden.

(13) Every girl should own a long down coat.

Again, not if you live in California or Hawaii. But for those of us unfortunate souls who have to deal with winter, it comes in handy. Mine is black and by some fancy name brand company and I bought it for a great price at Nordstrom Rack this past year. A very important investment for keeping my butt warm during those long, long durations of being outside in the winter. My black coat was perfect for daily wear but also looked great over heels if I needed to dress up.

(14) Every girl should own her favorite perfume.

Splurge, ask for it for christmas or your birthday, get it from kohls. Whatever you do, every girl should have their favorite perfume on hand. Don’t wear it every day, it will make you feel so much better during special occasions.

(15) Every girl should own at least one maxi skirt.

They are so fashionable right now, and I am loving the trend. They are so comfortable and can be worn to work or casually while with friends. They can even be dressed up with a cute top for dates or dinners with friends. I wear them when I go out, too. They are a very good investment and asset to your wardrobe.

(16) Every girl should own little black shorts to wear under dresses.

You won’t have underwear lines and if it gets windy, you won’t have a wardrobe malfunction that involves someone seeing your lady bits. Besides, you will feel a hundred times more comfortable if you don’t have to focus on if people can see your underwear or not. Sitting will be all that much easier, and so will dancing and having a good time, worry-free.

(17) Every girl should organize her closet by color.

I can’t stress how much time having my closet well-organized has saved me over the years. It’s definitely not perfect, and I am constantly looking for ways to improve it. But it’s mine and I can find pretty much anything I need within seconds of realizing what I am looking for.

I recommend separating your closet into the following sections: coats & jackets, shirts & cardigans, tank tops, and dresses. Then organize each section by color (I do black, white, gray, brown and then rainbow colors). If you feel like you need more sections I believe it probably could only help you find what you need faster. The more organized your closet, the better you will feel and the more time you will save when trying to get ready.

———————–

And here are a few of my FASHION DON’TS
*Obviously these are just my opinions and feel free to agree to disagree 🙂
(I can elaborate later when I have more time.)

No bandeaus
No showing off of the stomach
Absolutely NO crop tops. Yuck!
No see through shirts (my exception is lacy shirts are okay with a tank top underneath but see my comments in (1) above)
No jeans that are too short or too long- Express and many other stores will work with you on finding the correct fit for your body type
No shirts that promote alcohol or pot or any other drugs. Just no.
No going bra-less, unless it’s absolutely necessary, like if your dress has a really low back or something.
No underwear lines. Nope. If I can tell what type of underwear you are wearing, then your skirt is too tight.
No rips or tears. No clothes that come ripped or torn. I know it’s fashionable right now but it just doesn’t do it for me at all.
NO CROCS. Ever. Unless you are a little kid. Which if you are able to read this blog, then you are TOO OLD.

lessons.

During the past year (or so) I have learned a lot of things and had to grow up pretty quickly, more than I thought could be possible. I just wanted to share with you..

Random Ramblings’ 30 Lessons of the Mid Twenties

(1) Chivalry is only dead if we let it be so.

(2) Never settle for less than what you deserve in any aspect of your life, whether it be career, relationship, friendships, etc.

(3) Tequila shots are very dangerous, not delicious at all, and may result in you puking all over your hair, floor, and bedding.

(4) The only person who can fight for you is YOU. You may have the support from others, but in the end, all you really have is yourself.

(5) An unhappy career is much worse than a failed relationship.

(6) Meeting people online will always be extremely creepy.

(7) You should never take your youth for granted. It will be gone before you know it.

(8) The people you text when you are drunk are probably the people you have feelings for. If they don’t text you when they are drunk then they probably don’t return the feelings.

(9) If someone is meant to be in your life and you set them free they will eventually come back. Nine times out of ten they will come back when it’s too late for them and you are already in a better place. It will always be their loss.

(10) If someone is too chicken to work on a relationship, then that’s their problem, not yours.

(11) Most people are going to constantly disappoint you. It’s the family and friends who rarely do that are worth keeping around.

(12) Freedom isn’t free. There is always a cost.

(13) Your actions will always have consequences, whether good or bad. The trick is to act and not be stagnant. Not acting leads to your life moving forward without you.

(14) Cheaters are not good friends, partners, or people. Get that negative energy out of your life before it consumes you to the point of drowning.

(15) The more you say “I can’t” the more you won’t be able to do anything.

(16) It is okay to shop moderately. It’s when you can’t go a week without shopping that it is a problem.

(17) Shopping, unfortunately, will always be a simple way to relieve stress.

(18) Avoiding the problem will not make it go away.

(19) Honesty, no matter how difficult, is always the best policy. People who lie, cheat, steal, and hurt and try to get away with it will meet a very nasty end. If you mess up, deal with it in the most honest way that you know how.

(20) People who are too chicken to face their problems or faults will almost always end up alone.

(21) Life is too short not to have adventures as often as you can. Travel, dance, sing, climb mountains, drink with friends. Whatever your adventure is, just do it.

(22) Setting goals means nothing if you don’t try your hardest to meet them. If you don’t meet them, that’s okay, at least you are trying.

(23) Men and women will probably never see eye to eye completely. That’s okay if you’re willing to work at it.

(24) The easy way out is never going to result in anything good.

(25) The level of success is only measured by all the hard work it took to get there.

(26) A guy who sends an unwanted dick pic is unwanted material for your life. Get out and move on.

(27) Coming home to a made bed (even if it’s made poorly) will always be worth the five seconds it takes to pull up your covers in the morning.

(28) If you have the chance to try something new like rock climbing, do it, even if heights are absolutely terrifying. Face your fears whenever you can.

(29) Keep friends with positive energy around you. Get rid of the ones who drag you down, even if it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do.

(30) There is NOTHING more important in your life than keeping in touch with your family. Don’t let them slip away and don’t ever keep them in the dark.

resolutions 2.0

I have barely spent any time in the blogging world lately, if any at all. I have been lost in a sea of confusion and heart break. I’ve made a few mistakes in the past month or so that are going to be really difficult to recover from. In the end, though, I am the one who chose to make those mistakes and I am looking forward to the feeling of a blank slate that 2015 will bring.

Another year, gone. It flew by before I could even comprehend its presence. I went back and looked at my resolutions post from the end of 2013. Some things have changed, and a lot of things have not. I’m ready for a fresh start and to start feeling like myself again.

So here are my resolutions from last year with a new set of commentary:

(1) Take more pictures. (I definitely could have taken more photos but my iPhone is currently out of room, so I am guessing that I took a few…)

(2) Gossip less. (Grr… I need to work on this. Wow.)

(3) Do more yoga. ( I don’t even remember the last time I did yoga. I need to join a class in January, maybe that will help.)

(4) Go on a FREAKING date. (Did this. Got my heart broken. Not sure if it was worth it. But I did it.)

(5) Be more creative. (Definitely could work more on this, but having a blog allowed me to do a little.)

(6) Run more. (I ran my first 5k. I am hoping to do the color run again, and then maybe some more 5ks after that. Gym routine starts in January. God knows I haven’t been in months.)

(7) Make a career/job improvement/change. (I tried to do this several times. I applied for many jobs. I guess I will have to keep trying or thinking of different jobs I can apply for outside of my current field. I definitely still feel like I need a change.)

I might keep my resolutions the same for this next year. They are all things I want to work on.

One thing is for sure, I need to get out of my current funk. The blogging world helped me so much in the past. So my main focus will be to write more in 2015. I want to make this blog grow as much as I can and continue to improve my writing skills as much as I can, as often as I can.

guys.

So, on the radio on my way to work this morning, I heard a question posited to the listeners. The question was, “If a man became a woman for 24 hours, what do you think the biggest shock would be?” There would be so many in my mind… This radio segment made me begin thinking… I need to make a list, a sort of rant we’ll say, about all the things guys don’t understand about women. So here it is, inspired by the tiny clip of the conversation I was able to overhear this morning on my way to work.

Things Guys Don’t Understand About Women
(And Would Completely Shock Them If They Ever Did Become a Woman For 24 Hours)

(1) The people on the radio said otherwise, but I think that women think about sex just as much as guys do. They were right, we hardly ever think about our boobs, unless they are in the way of what we are trying to do, which if you are well-endowed, is almost every day at least once.

(2) We over think everything. EVERYTHING I can’t stress this enough. Stop saying weird shit and then not following through.

(3) Among the lines of us overthinking, women need confirmation that you are not blowing us off. We need to be told “It’s guys night, so I’ll talk to you tomorrow” or whatever. It is NOT helpful to not have seen us in a week, and on your day off go out with the guys and not tell us you are going to go or tell us that you have the day off or not tell us when you are going to see us next. And then ignore our texts which were sent before guys night even began. We are very observant and it becomes anxiety-provoking.

(4) This is also related: we plan EVERYTHING. We are not that spontaneous. Our day is planned like at least a week ahead of time. Change, while sometimes expected, is not always comfortable for us. We like a little heads up.

(5) Periods. Absolutely. Suck. So don’t tell us we are being babies. Have you ever had blood come out of your genitals? I certainly hope not, if you’re a guy. But most of us women deal with this problem every month for several days. And it’s weird. And if you were us for a day you would totally flip the shit out. It’s not fun when you are cramping so badly that you can’t get off of the toilet but you still have to go to work or school or whatever it is that you are doing and pretend that you feel normal.

(6) It’s weird when you put blankets or pillows on the floor. Or you move them. We like them where they already are. That’s why we put them there.

(7) If we drink just a little too much, we pay for it way more than you do. And if we do stupid shit, our buddies are not high fiving us like it was a good decision. We are getting lectured that we should never, ever, ever, do that again.

(8) We like to be answered when we text you. Even if it’s a day later. It’s polite.

(9) If we call you, please call us back. Otherwise our minds go to crazy scenarios and they scare us to death.

(10) If we are getting all dolled up to meet you out or with friends or whatever it means that we like you and we want to make a good impression. If we don’t put in effort, it means you are a friend. But pay attention to a girl who wears heels and a cute outfit. She likes you. If you like her back, work it.

(11) If we start talking about food we are trying to get you to hang out with us. Guys, if a woman is offering you food, take her up on the offer, for god’s sake. I’ve been told that a way to a guy’s heart is through his stomach (a little bit sexist I know, oh well) and if you like the girl, freaking let her cook for you. Even if the food is terrible. If it’s terrible, return the freaking favor. Cook a meal for the lady you care about. It’s not that difficult.

(12) Here’s one that’s just me, and I don’t know if any other ladies out there would agree with me or not. I hate surprises. I hate not knowing what’s going to happen. I hate unwelcome surprises even more than happy birthday surprises. Don’t do it. Communicate. I can’t stress this enough guys.

problems.

I’m going to go on a little rant tonight. Recently, while browsing my Facebook news feed, I came across this lovely status update and it began to make me think:

If she doesn’t text you when she’s drunk. She’s not the one.

Part of me wanted to laugh, and the other part of me wanted to scream in frustration. How absolutely childish… Not to mention, this person, in question, has received drunk texts from me in the past and I have pretty much almost begged him to take me on a date but he simply does not even take a hint… He sees me as someone who will be used as a fuck buddy, which I can stress from my previous posts, is simply something I am not willing to even give a try.

Another status posted by this person, that really got me going read:

If women aren’t showing interest in you and you find yourself single for a long time, take it as a major compliment…. most women fall for assholes.

I mean, honestly, if you’re single and you’re posting these kinds of statuses, don’t you kind of start to wonder that maybe YOU’RE THE PROBLEM? You have a relatively normal, single, emotionally unattached female asking you to follow up on that date you mentioned weeks ago, and you go posting bull shit like this? Maybe it’s just the guys in my generation or this is what guys in general are turning into (I certainly hope not) but this kind of stuff is starting to drive me nuts, regardless of who says it or posts it. These are inside your head thoughts. That’s something I say to my kids at work almost on a daily basis. So because guys seem to not understand women, I am going to postulate a few underlying comments that should be taken as advice that you should implement.

A few things guys need to understand about women but don’t:

(1) Women are simple. Stop calling us crazy. Stop complaining that we fall for assholes. If the guy is an asshole, there’s a reason we fell for him in the first place. He probably wasn’t an asshole to begin with. He probably understood romance and chivalry and waiting for sex until you’ve been dating a few months. 

(2) Compliments help. A lot. Tell us “you have a nice rack.” Tell us “you’re beautiful.” It’s really not that hard. I say nice things about you. I tell you when you are wearing an article of clothing that I like. I’m not afraid to tell you that you have nice muscles or that your hair cut looks good. I tell you that you’re sexy. Regularly. 

(3) We watch your every move on Facebook. If you post something completely narcissistic or stupid we see it. If you post about how much you work out for the ladies, we see that and we assume that you’re a slut who doesn’t know another way to meet girls. You hang out with tons of women who aren’t your girlfriends, we’ve seen that. We know what you’ve been up to. We aren’t going to completely hold it against you, but if there’s a lack of photos with you and your buddies, then we start to feel a little distrustful of your every move. 

(4) If a girl says “yes” to a date, then she is not looking to be your fuck buddy. If we wanted to be your fuck buddy, we would just do it without the date. A girl who is looking for a fuck buddy knows how to find him. In a bar, late at night, relatively alone…. You get the picture. 

(5) Dick pics will NEVER be flattering. They are not sexy at all. They are a little interesting, but they do not turn us on. You touching your junk in a close up photo/video, it’s not flattering and does not turn us on. Just because you sent us a picture of your junk does not make us want to send you a pic of our boobies. Figure out a better solution to wanting to see us naked. Take us out to dinner a few times and STOP BEING LAZY. 

(6) If I text you ONLY when I’m drunk you should probably run away. This means I am too chicken to talk to you when I am sober or it means that I am only interested in you as a fuck buddy. It also might mean that I am simply bored and actually have no desire to hang out with you, ever. If you are a guy looking for a relationship, you want a girl who texts you at all times of the day and night, and who texts you in every state of mind. 

(7) If you are single, and you have been that way for a while, then there is probably something wrong with you. You probably have acted like a douche but are convinced you are a nice guy. You are not a nice guy. You probably suck. You probably treat girls like they are trash items that you have discarded from food you have eaten that same day before you move on to the next meal. You are the problem here. I don’t go posting about my blah blah blah single status on Facebook for all of the world to see, I enjoy life. I meet friends and try and meet guys, only to discover that they know nothing about women.

I’m sure I could keep going, but someone out there probably wants me to stop. Guys, if there is a nice girl after you, stop messing it up. If you truly don’t want to be single anymore, give her a chance. If you are happy as a single person, then stop complaining about it and/or learn to understand and respect the women around you. It’s not that hard.

resolutions.

I don’t think I’ve ever followed through with a new years resolution, let alone remembered what it was by mid March. Each year I think I come up with something good- take more photos, exercise more, spend more time with friends, find a significant other, etc.- and it never happens. I never follow through with any of them.

Maybe it helps if you write it down somewhere you will walk by on a daily basis instead of thinking it in your head when the clock chimes and it’s midnight. I think that I should, perhaps, try writing it down. I don’t want to beat myself up if I cant remember or don’t follow through, but I think I owe it to myself, to try improving myself and my relationships with those around me. I’m going to start a rough draft of a list of new years resolution right now.

(1) Take more pictures. (I laugh because I think this has been a repeated new years resolution that I always struggle with and by December, I am pissed off at myself for not taking any pictures!)

(2) Gossip less. (This one also makes me laugh since I am a huge gossip. I am curious and analytical and I just want to know why people do the strange things that they do. So maybe productive gossip will be deemed okay.)

(3) Do more yoga. (I’d aim for every day but life sometimes gets in the way. Ideally, I’d like to get to the point where I am waking up early each morning and doing the yoga then, before I get ready. I feel as though it would be a nice start to my day. Maybe I can join a class, like I’ve been wanting to and putting off… )

(4) Go on a FREAKING date. (It is literally time. Where is a guy who appreciates cats and tolerates my vegetarianism and weird healthy eating tendencies and dislike of cooking? I have been single since August 2012. It wasn’t my fault, the relationship was making me feel like shit, anyways. It’s time. I am not hideous or repulsive, I might be a little bit mentally unstable and have trust issues with guys, but when it comes down to it, I REALLY need to go on a date.)

(5) Be more creative. (Whether it’s actually using the keyboard that my dad bought for me, writing song lyrics like I used to compulsively do, painting, singing, blogging, writing stories, doodling, dancing in the rain, or saying how I really feel, I definitely have a ton of creative, impulsive energy that is bursting inside of me and needs to get out! I think this goes for EVERY single person I have ever met. We spend way too much time with our electronics and social media outlets that we forget that we are creative beings, each and every one of us. I am a highly creative being. I know that being creative makes me feel better so I just need to DO IT.

(6) Run more. (I hate the gym so much. I really really do. But as soon as it gets nicer and the sun stays out for longer, you bet your ass I am going to be back at the trail where I spent a lot of time this summer/fall. I get that it’s cold outside but as long as the sun is out then I can do it. I just have to wear layers. Everyone else should get out and run too!)

(7) Make a career/job improvement/change. (I really need to get out of this career rut I am stuck in. Whether it’s finding a new job, going back to school or simply making a structured plan, I need to go out and do it. Preferably now since I am already struggling.)

I really need to stop because I am going to just make too many resolutions and then I will be overwhelmed and stressed out as I try to be superwoman and try to accomplish them all. Come to think of it, maybe I should come up with one about dealing with stress better. It might be a better plan than where I am at right now…

benefits

I may have possibly missed something that I did not before. There are benefits to not being in a relationship. I have my qualms about being single around the holidays; it absolutely sucks to see all the happy couples and be the only single one at family time. However, there are a few benefits that I am probably going to begin a list of (maybe to refer to in the future or even to add to).

1) My bed does not get messed up. I cant even count the number of times where I made my bed all pretty only to have my pillows be thrown on the floor and comforter be falling off me in the middle of the night so I was freezing.

2) My pillows do NOT end up on the floor. I could go into more detail about this, but I enjoy keeping my pillows on my bed. If completely necessary, and there’s no way to work around the extra pillows, they go on a chair. NOT on the floor.

3) I can control what goes in and on my bed. There are certain things (i.e.: feet, shoes, bags, dirty laundry) that I do not want on my bed. It is okay to lie on top of the bed with work clothes or gym clothes on, but not under the covers. It’s nice to keep my bed clean.

4) I can go for a week without shaving my legs in the winter. Any ladies out there will agree with me. It’s absolutely horrible to shave your legs because by the end of the day the hair has grown back and you have stubble. So it’s nice to have hairy legs and have no one know but yourself. The secret is pants.

5) I don’t have to impress anyone. If I randomly attract a guy in a bar or other public place, it is completely by accident. No offense, but my legs are hairy and I am not trying to impress you. I don’t even remember the last time I plucked my eyebrows. Suck it up.

6) You don’t have to wait for anyone. Yes I know girls take a while to get ready, but there’s always that guy who says “okay, you take so long to get ready” and waits for the girl to be COMPLETELY ready before he begins and then the girl has to wait even longer, when the whole time she has been trying to rush. I don’t have to wait for the guy to get out of the shower. I can get right in and take as long as I want. I don’t have to wait until he gets out of work to see him. I don’t have to wait to watch the next episode of my new favorite show. It’s already on.

7) I get to smell bad and save money on perfume. Boom.

8) I can do my laundry less since I’m not saving my good underwear for anything. I can wear whatever underwear I want and I don’t have to feel stressed out that it doesn’t match my bra.

9) I can check out any guy that I want. Any time, any place. I could even act on those impulses (but I don’t).

10) I can move to Burma or some shit. Right now. No one is stopping me from making any big life decisions like that.

11) I can go out with my friends whenever I want to. No one can tell me no. No one can ask me to  stay in for a movie night instead or whine about not wanting to go out, and then go out and act like a total pussy for the rest of the night.

12) I don’t have to give anyone any rides. Nor do I feel obligated. If someone asks me and I totally do not feel like it, I can say no. This is huge. I can also blast my own music and sing really loudly and nobody is judging me in my car.