lonely.

I’m tired of hearing that people are lonely and then using it as an excuse for doing stupid things. I have been basically single since August 2012 (except for that brief time where I was dating someone I really cared about for 3 months or so and it ended horribly). I have no sympathy for any of it anymore.

Being lonely is not a good excuse to hang out with your ex girlfriend at the expense of your own heart. Being lonely is not a good excuse to harass your other ex at his place of work and bring the first ex there to make him jealous. Try being actually single for a while without hanging out with any of your exes. Just try it.

Being lonely is not an excuse to make out with the guy your roommate has a crush on. You shouldn’t have ever even considered making out with someone else at that point since you were still hanging out with both of your ex girlfriends. Now you’ve lost the trust of everyone around you and hurt a really nice guy for no reason.

Being lonely is not a good excuse for sleeping with someone else when you’re already in a relationship. Don’t have your cake and eat it too. It’s beyond tacky. It’s the most selfish thing you can do and it affects multiple people in horrible ways all at the same time.

Being lonely is not a good excuse to get absolutely wasted and make a fool of yourself. Being lonely is not an excuse to act like a complete slut all of the time. Yes, people make some drunken mistakes, but to make them repeatedly and blame it on being lonely, it’s not okay.

I’ve experienced every single holiday for the past four years alone. I’ve witnessed several cousins and friends get married or engaged. I’ve seen people have babies. I’ve seen people fall in love in seconds and realize they’ve found their soulmate. I’ve spent so much time alone that I don’t recognize myself anymore, sometimes. I’ve felt lonely when I am around  the ones I love or in a crowd of people. I’ve felt lonely while watching tv in my own living room.

But, I’ve also made some pretty significant gains. I’ve begun to heal and actually listen to my body. Granted, it unfortunately ended up with me getting prescribed anti-depressants to help with everything that’s going on and trying an elimination diet for my IBS (I miss real yogurt so much!) but I’m working it out. Being lonely and single caused me to begin this blog a few years back and I’ve had one hell of a good time writing and interacting with everyone in the WordPress world.

Being lonely really helped me start thinking about the kind of career that I want. I realized I can have multiple careers. I can be a writer, a teacher, and eventually join academia with further degrees in teaching or some other related subject. I’m also beginning my master’s degree, finally, thanks to being lonely. I’ve run two 5ks while being lonely. I never even dreamed that I would enjoy running, let alone run long distances. I’ve adopted two absolutely adorable cats and they make me feel truly loved every single day.

So friends, be lonely. Feel the feels. Stop doing stupid things and using being lonely as an excuse. Being lonely should be a bridge to better things. Being lonely should be the fuel to firing up your life. We all experience pain at one point or another and it’s important to feel the pain as you need to, or you’re never going to be able to move forward with your life. So, do yoga or run the 5k. Experience loneliness from the comfort of your own home. Write, draw, drink the margarita without worrying about how many calories are in it. For god’s sake, being single can be the best times of your life. If you appreciate your loneliness, someday your soulmate will come along, and you will be ready. If you appreciate your loneliness, you won’t be sitting around waiting for someone; you will be the love of your own life.

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