Complicated.

Someone recently wrote “because sometimes, it’s just complicated.” on an updated Facebook relationship change. I might get a little ranty right now but it’s only because I witness all these things and it just begins to build up until I can not contain myself.

For one, keep the relationship drama off social media. You guys broke up, no one needs to know except you and your significant other. The whole world does not need to know that you are hurt or angry or upset or what your baby daddy is doing wrong. You are an idiot for posting it. You literally just want attention. Talk to you your damn friends or family or your counselor or someone who you trust because frankly the whole world does not need to hear about your woes. I feel the same way when people constantly post about how lonely they are and how they have no friends. That’s not how to get them, that’s for sure.

Secondly, it’s not complicated. Being a decent person is actually quite easy. Being a decent person towards everyone else is even easier. It’s easy to beat up yourself about all the little details but if you are purposefully causing someone else harm, then you are the douchebag and you should probably step away with caution.

Relationships aren’t complicated. If your heart isn’t in it, then don’t stay. If you hate the person, don’t stay. If they are doing horrible things to you and calling you names and making you post pathetic statuses on Facebook, don’t stay. You have the power to leave. Be strong.

If they look at pictures of naked girls repeatedly when you’ve asked them to stop then don’t stay. If you argue all the time and do not remember the last time you were actually happy, then don’t stay. If your friends don’t like your significant other, then that is a problem and should be something you are thinking about. If your significant other is making you absolutely miserable then you owe it to yourself to make a strong attempt to move on.

Granted, love makes us all do some insanely stupid things that it may take us years to realize we regret or have actually learned from. Now is the time that is important, however. If the behavior of your significant other doesn’t change for the better, then it’s time to let them go. They may truly love you, but if you are in a relationship with someone you don’t continuously put yourself first. You learn how to balance and make changes and you learn to compromise.

Trust issues and not liking animals, those are huge red flags in my eyes. If a person has not warmed up to an animal after months of being around said animal, they are just not trustworthy (I guess that is just my unprofessional opinion, but honestly, real men like animals). People who don’t like animals are creepy and are clearly hiding things.

Your relationship should not be complicated. It should be simple. You should be able to work it out. Both people should be able to apologize when they make a mistake and then not make the same mistake over and over. One time is enough. You should be thinking about the other person, constantly, but still be able to take your alone time. You should be able to take your space when you need it. You should never feel pressured to spend money when you don’t have to, just because your significant other says to, or feel forced to do ANYTHING, ever, for that matter. You should never put your significant other so far ahead of your friends and family that you lose touch with everyone. No one should ever call you horrible names, ESPECIALLY your significant other. No one should ever make you feel fat or ugly, or undesirable, ESPECIALLY the person who supposedly loves you.

Relationships should be quite simple, really. They are not complicated. If you love someone you are willing to work on the real issues and stop being a douchebag and fooling around. If you love someone you are willing to do anything for that person. If you love someone you understand that it is healthy to take your space and for them to take space from you. Love is not complicated: it’s simple. You owe it to yourself to be with someone who truly appreciates the wonderful human being that you are.

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Complicated.

  1. I totally agree – relationships seem like they should be so easy. Love the other person, and don’t be a selfish jerk (has to be both, as you can do one or the other and alone they aren’t enough).

    If someone can’t/won’t show that they love you anymore, then it’s probably not a good place to be. If someone is frequently a selfish jerk, again, not a good place to be.

    But we often fall for the sunken cost fallacy. “I’ve invested so much time in this relationship I don’t want to lose it”. Sorry, if someone doesn’t love your anymore and/or is a selfish jerk, what are you really losing?

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