criticism.

Each and every person’s conscious experience of the world is so unique and unimaginable to every other person that one might ever come across. There is no way of knowing or completely understanding how another person feels, ever. When we begin to talk about it, we are only reaching the very tiny tip of the iceberg, and the rest will be unknown, perhaps forever.

Each time a person makes a mistake or a success, they interpret and feel it in their own unique way. Each time a person falls in love, it will never be the same as any other person who has ever fallen in love before. Each time a person breaks, no one has ever felt that same brokenness.

Not every person has the same preferences or desires. Not every person feels the same way about who touches their stuff or enters into their life. I can tell you, however, that every person will never understand all the other people in this world. It is impossible to know exactly what another person wants, even when we communicate with them.

I would like for it to be easier. I would like for it to be effortless and automatic but there are just some people in this world who are not open to learning about the experiences and interpretations of other people. It is impossible to see it from another person’s perspective, completely, but if you are not willing to try, then you will be forever alone. You will be forever broken if you are not willing to look other people’s mistakes or desires or expectations in the eye and challenge them or accept them. You will be forever broken if you do not let their own views have a chance in your own world.

There are some moments where criticism is necessary. There are some moments when you need to hold your tongue before you think about how what you want to say will affect the other person. There are moments where you should say what’s on your mind, but you should always think about what the outcome will most likely be. It is completely unacceptable to criticize others for personal gain. It is completely unacceptable to criticize others because you are hurt. It is completely unacceptable to criticize others when you are having a bad day. The only appropriate criticism, that I am at least aware of, in this lifetime, is constructive criticism.

This means you are bringing it up to the other person because it will hopefully allow them to make positive changes in their life. You are bringing it up to the other person because there is a justified reason behind it. Constructive criticism looks like talking to the person face to face, no social media, no emails, and no freaking texting. It means being able to understand the difference between what really needs to be said and what really just needs to be let go. There are times you will have to make compromises and this may include not even bringing up a certain topic.

When you are critical of someone, watch your tone of voice. Do not attack the person, or place blame, simply state the problem. Do not demand an apology, for everyone in this lifetime is living their own experiences and may not think that an apology is necessary. People are much more comfortable when their apologies come from within, not from someone else demanding it.

When you are critical of someone make sure it is for them to gain and learn from their mistakes. Never be cruel or insulting. Never make demands or sarcastic remarks to the other person. Listen to what they have to say, and they just might listen to what you have to say and make some considerations.

Words hurt. The only way to prevent the maximum amount of hurt towards others is to think before you speak. The only way to prevent the maximum amount of hurt towards others to be considerate and let things go. Plan ahead. Consider the options: do I need to bring this up now? If I wait, will I be able to let it go?

If you are willing to let something go and not bring it up in the moment, do not hold it inside of you. That is when arguments and disagreements happen. That is when the other person feels as though you are attacking him or her. We are all human beings on this planet and we all get only one life to live. Let others live their lives and live your own in the meantime.

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