Relationships of the current era (my generation in particular) have completely lost their touch. Relationships have completely lost all meaning, all purpose, all common courtesies and functionalities. People have become so self-centered that they will fight it completely until it destroys them.
I happen to, sometimes, be one of those self-centered individuals who doesn’t pick the right person to have a functional relationship with. It happens time and time again to me. Crushing on married men, wanting to be with guys who are emotionally unavailable, pushing myself towards guys who show little to no interest. I can’t help but learn these bad habits from myself and others around me.
I grew up being told to marry for money. I was often told to marry someone out of a different ethnic background, someone who comes from a background that is stereotypically well-off or power hungry and therefore would be able to support me financially. I was very confused about what true love was since there were so many adults around me that seemed unhappy in their romantic relationships.
I grew up in the generation where we watched Disney movies obsessively for hours and hours. I grew up believing in both Prince Charming and that I would probably need to marry for money. I grew up believing that you either have to pick money or true love. My generation was taught to take and take and take but never to give, never to be polite, and never to show chivalry. I grew up with parents who had grown up with so little and whose parents had had even less. I grew up being told to appreciate what I have each and every day.
I don’t think we always remember that. There were harder times. There were times where people didn’t know where their next meal was going to come from. Granted, there are people today who still live like that, but I think the majority of our worries are much more trivial. what did that person just post on Facebook? how am I going to find anything to wear? who is spreading rumors about her? how many calories are in a serving of fudge? how many drinks can I have tonight?
People, grow up. Stop sleeping around and learn to be better people. Stop jumping into new relationships when your current one dies. It’s okay to be single for a while. It’s okay to only worry about you for a while. It’s okay to worry about the future or starving people in Africa or women’s rights or other important issues. It’s okay to focus on yourself, learn new hobbies or spend time with just you and your friends. You don’t have to spend every waking moment trying to impress someone. It’s not okay to let someone repeatedly hurt you. It’s not okay to settle for someone who has cheated because let’s face it, they will cheat again.
It’s not okay to settle for someone who physically hurts you, belittles you, or tells you that they are in love with someone else. It’s not okay to settle for someone who will slam the door at 3 am when everyone is trying to sleep. It’s not okay to settle for someone who gets mad when you don’t feel like having sex with them. It’s not okay to settle for someone who wants you to change anything about you whether it’s the things you like to do or the size of your pants. It certainly is not okay to settle for someone who moves across the world without a backwards glance or someone who thinks it’s okay to dance or flirt with others while you are in a relationship. It’s not okay to settle for someone who does many things that make you uncomfortable.
It’s hard enough to just be yourself in this day and age without your significant other being a complete douchebag. I will always say never settle. Relationships need to get their touch back. We need to learn how to treat each other better and stop being so selfish. Open doors for people. Ask people how they are doing. Genuinely thank people. Enjoy being single. Try new things, within reason. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. Learn to think about your mistakes for a while instead of jumping onto the next person. Being alone is okay. And for god’s sake, if you find that person who is willing to treat you like a diamond, treat them like a diamond back! The way you treat people is contagious and says a lot about who you are. If you want to attract good people in your life, be good.
Live alone for a while. Never settle for anyone who cheats or lies or takes without giving. Learn to love yourself and be present with the other important people in your life. We need to take back relationships. We need relationships to get back their touch so that people can begin believing in Prince Charming again, and, believing in themselves.