following.

I feel your eyes bore into me from across the room. I feel you trying to connect with me, reaching out with your soul. I feel your presence until the moment it isn’t there anymore. It seems as though you are asking me for a second chance, without words. With your eyes you are trying to tell me a story.

You are following me. It is blatantly obvious. Your friends are not here. You are all alone, in a bar. You have no one to back you up, I have all of my friends. I am not scared of you. I don’t wish to have anything to do with you.

A long time ago you lost any sort of chance you had with me when you betrayed me. It’s not so much the act of the betrayal itself as the time you spent betraying me and all of my time that you wasted hiding it from me instead of just letting me move on with my life.

I mean, a person has intuitive feelings sometimes, but I blamed that on my difficulty with trusting anyone. I didn’t think it was solely a you thing.

But I should have listened to my intuitions. We should always trust what our mind subconsciously just knows. It will take me a long time to trust people now, thanks to you. At least my awareness might prevent me from going down this painful road again.

You continue to stare at me, from across the room. I hope that you realize you will probably never have my forgiveness. You don’t get to have your cake and eat it too at the expense of someone else and get to have my blessing. What you did was horrible and completely unnecessary. It was all at the expense of someone who loved you.

No matter now. I am even stronger than ever. I have people who would back me up in a split second, and I don’t even need them to. I’ve already told you not to come anywhere near me and you are encroaching on those boundaries, weekend after weekend. Approach me and you will not like the consequences.

At one point, I had needed to talk myself out of violence towards you if I ever saw you. I think, luckily, I am past that point now. I think that ignoring you is quite satisfying for me. I also think that I could tear you apart with my words. It wouldn’t really do me any good, and it probably wouldn’t make either of us feel better.

You should stop following me. I have nothing to offer you. My life has improved since you hurt me so badly and it’s only going to keep getting better without you.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s