There’s a whole world out there. Waiting.

Waiting for you to figure it all out and to begin to conquer your deepest, most intimate fears.

You’re not going to let me figure it out, are you?

I shudder when I wake up in the morning and realize that you’ve been haunting me all along. The harder I try to forget you when I am conscious, the harder you try to pull at me in my subconscious. When I am unconscious, you are haunting me.

Then, when I wake up, you are on my mind again. How do you manage to weasel your way in, time and time again? How do you manage to pull at my deepest desires when you are not even here? Your physical presence has not been really felt in months.

Yet, when I see you in my dreams, you are really here. You are telling me that you made a mistake and that you are back for good. I don’t think dreams can tell the future, but sometime I wonder if you really will come back.

My mind is causing me to be haunted by you, and you aren’t even really here.

You are like the ghost who just can’t get enough. You are the ghost who keeps coming back even when you are no longer welcome. You are the side of the bed that is too cold and the reason that I can’t move forward and conquer the world, no matter how many times I try.

I’ve tried and I’ve tried. I’ve tried until I was blue in the face and could no longer breathe anymore. Maybe it’s just because I am lonely or maybe it’s because you put an everlasting impression on my heart.

I’m not sure why you keep haunting me. Maybe my dreams are trying to tell me something about you. Maybe they are trying to show me that you are only a tiny bit beyond my grasp. Maybe I’ve gotten this all wrong from the beginning and you were always just a dream.

I would love it if your ghost could just leave me alone for a while. I’m trying to move some of my own mountains here and I already tried to pull you up.


One thought on “haunting.

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