There are 27 letters that make up the English language. This gives us an infinite combination of words that we are able to string together and infinite possibilities to combine these combinations of words into infinite sentences. These sentences can convey many predisposed sentiments.
To make someone proud. To make someone hurt. To express the feeling of being hurt. To make someone smile. To make someone jump up and down. To make someone throw their cell phone across the room out of anger. To spread joy to others.
Just a few letters or words are the difference between doing the right thing or messing up entirely. Or, letting go or staying stuck in one place. The meaning you convey could potentially make someone stay, or cause them to go.
The problem is, when you are typing or saying what you feel, sometimes the words come out all wrong. After all, there are infinite possibilities to say what you need to say. The other problem is, the person who interprets what you’ve said has feelings and words of their own.
The problem is, once you’ve said the wrong thing one time, chances are they aren’t going to let you take it back.
The problem is, that once you’ve messed up one time, they might get it in your head that you’re going to keep messing up.
Humans make mistakes. Humans don’t always get it right. Humans definitely don’t always say the right things. That’s okay. We are far from perfect, and that, I think, is one of the things that makes us so extraordinary.
You can miss that person with all of your heart. You can regret the one time that you got really angry and because you were angry the words came out all wrong. You were just trying to tell the person that the anger was inside of you, not them. You were just trying to tell them that you needed to calm down because you were seeing red from all the stress you were under.
You can wish that the person will someday come back to you. You can pray for them, every night and think about them, every day. You can continue to make the same mistakes over and over, keep trying to tell them how you feel with different words and combinations of sentences, but once they’ve made up their mind to let you go, that is a very hard thing to come back from.
When you finally choose to stop the words, when you finally stop saying what you feel, then your heart can finally be just a little more free.
The biggest problem is, that even though you’ve stopped the words from coming out, you’ve stopped repeating over and over how you feel, the words are still stuck in your heart and soul, and every fiber of your being.
You have more control now. You are holding the words in and not letting them go. No matter how hard it hurts, no matter what distance you have to go before you realize you are okay and that it’s okay to love someone who doesn’t love you back. Just, love yourself more.