Here I go, scream my lungs out, and try to get to you…
Ambivalence is no friend of mine, my friends. It makes me emotional, it makes me super blunt or scared or angry. I’m absolutely terrified. It makes it hard for me to know the right decision, to make the right choice.
Someone I know recently told me it was okay to keep the fact that he was cheating on his significant other away from her because it would cause her more pain, emphasizing that didn’t he deserve a second chance? While I can see the point, doesn’t the person who’s been cheated on get to be the one to make that call? I mean, who gets to grant themselves a second chance without informing their partner?
Sure, relationships end for a variety of reasons. Not all cheating leads to breaking up. It takes a strong couple to stick together after someone has cheated.
Personally, I’m obsessed with doing what I feel is the right thing. I think that people should always come clean when they cheat. They should do it in a timely, respectful manner. They are the person who fucked up and they should be able to come clean. I don’t think I could keep that from my significant other for more than 24 hours, to be honest. I blab too much, and if I don’t, it eats me up even more.
Why people cheat is quite complicated, and I am never going to fully understand it. Why people make such a huge mistake and think that they deserve another chance without telling their significant other to be deemed that chance will always be a mystery to me. Your partner is the one who deserves to make that call. You lost the right when you decided to make that horrible decision to do the wrong thing.
Shit happens, in the moment. It is a huge test of your character how you deal with the situation after it happens and can show the person you are with things that will either make or break your relationship.
But, if you truly loved the person in the first place, completely, with your whole soul, then you probably wouldn’t have cheated in the first place. Am I right?
Something has got to be SIGNIFICANTLY missing for someone to commit such an act against another person, in my opinion. Otherwise, you don’t deserve that other person. I don’t think you willingly destroy the person you love, if you really truly love them.
What do I know? I’m just a hopeless romantic with no luck in these sort of situations. I can only trust the way I feel. And what I feel is not good and that significant others deserve to know then they are cheated on. No matter what. No matter who it’s with. No matter if alcohol or drugs or long lost flirtations or feelings or romantic involvements were at play.
Once you’ve cheated, you’ve already hurt them. They deserve to know and to figure it out themselves. Hiding it does not at all make it right by any means, it only hurts everyone who’s involved.
What is your opinion on this dilemma? Is my strong opinion correct, or are there circumstances where the cheater should keep his or her mouth shut?