The biggest mystery to me lately, and I’m sure I could google this if I really wanted to, is what is the purpose of the lazy susan. I mean I just don’t get it.

In my house, we keep our tupperware in it since that seems to be the only thing that has such varying sizes and can use up all of the space.

I would like to find the maker of the lazy susan and kick them in the face. The thing is just so inconvenient and annoying. I don’t want to have to spin the thing to get the things that I need. I don’t want have to bend over and attempt new and never-seen-before yoga poses in order to get out a plastic container. The lazy susan makes no sense to me. Literally no sense.

I can’t fathom my life right now so I am pondering this stupid mechanism that some idiot in the 1930s thought would be a good idea.

I can’t fathom why I am still sad about him. I can’t fathom why my sadness and stress levels turn into anger then deep deep sadness and then anger again. I can’t fathom why I still care. Why do I still care? I am such an idiot. I’m a hopeless, soul-less idiot right now.

I still want to know what the lazy susan is for. I am too lazy to look it up today.

My life feels like parts of the netflix spectrum right now. The options are: streaming (so it’s easy and available all the time), DVD only, DVD only- very long wait or just a wait in general, and those pesky DVDs that they get your hopes and dreams all high and up about (i.e. FUCKING Aladdin), but then they remove it so you will never be able to see it again.

My life feels like a series of removals. I know, I know. You’re supposed to see the positives and negatives in big changes, but I just can’t. I was waiting forever for Aladdin and then they completely took it off of netflix. I mean, it was next in my queue for months and they kept sending me other shitty movies when all I wanted to see was Aladdin.

The pieces of my life that are instant stream are wonderful and loving and caring and just fantastic. It still feels like so many things are missing, even so. The DVD only pieces aren’t so bad. Everything else seems like it’s a very long wait or not available. I’m losing my patience every day and my happiness declines with each and every slap in the face.

So yeah, how do I get everything to be on instant streaming? How do I get my Aladdin back? I’ve lost complete sight of my dreams and even though the weather is finally getting better, I am getting sadder.

I turn 26 in 2 days so there goes my good health insurance. Yay, adulthood. Yay, paying for your health insurance out of pocket when you already struggle with bills. Yay, being single. Yay, anxiety about stupid things that don’t even matter.

Now if only I could just figure out what a freaking lazy susan is for.


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