I don’t really understand what’s wrong with me lately. I have barely been getting anything done and yet I feel like I am always busy. I’m really struggling with time management right now.
How do people own homes and have kids and work jobs all at the same time? I can’t even work the one job that I do and seem to find time to blog or paint or do yoga or do anything that I really want to do.
Part of the problem might be that my roommate and I get sucked into the TV and end up watching hours upon hours of shows until it’s way past when I should be going to bed. Then I come into my room and I am not sleepy and I can’t sleep so I end up watching more TV, of course. I also wake up 500 times every night so I never feel rested, regardless of when I actually go to bed.
I’ve also been dealing with something that might end up being kind of exciting, but I am not ready to post about it on here yet, I don’t want to jinx it. We’ll see how it all turns out…
My friends and I always joke about “adulting” aka being an adult. We say “we can’t adult”. Yup. That pretty much describes my life. All the things that I should be doing get me in a panic. In less than 2 weeks it will be my 26th birthday and I will be kicked off of my parents health insurance, which is really good insurance, and I will have to start paying for mine out of my own paychecks.
My natural reaction to this horrible phenomenon is to half of the time pretend that it’s not real and the other half of the time to get super super angry and drink too much wine which makes it even worse. Wine tends to either numb my feelings or bring them out.
Last night was one of those nights. I went to the monthly art walk with a few friends who are 31 or so and they of course were ready to go home at 9:30. I have been feeling quite old lately so I decided there was no way in hell I was going to go home that early. I ended up at the bar where a bunch of my friends work but of course no one I knew came in and I drank a few drinks and just ended up getting more angry because I was out alone on a Friday night.
Am I that much of an adult that no one I know is out on a Friday? I mean, come on. No one walked into the bar that I recognized except one friend who ended up leaving after like an hour.
I cut my losses and angrily walked out around midnight and got into a taxi and got myself home.
I can’t adult, guys. It’s killing me. It makes me feel so lonely and insecure.