Okay guys. OKcupid is just plain creepy. I put in that I am searching for 25 to 35 year olds, even though 35 is just plain pushing it. So how come 20 year olds are messaging me and I have to be a complete bitch and tell them that they are just too young for me?

Or the 41 year old doctor who thinks that just because he’s a doctor I’m going to message him back. No, I am 25 and you are old enough to be my teenage father. You are creepy.

Online dating just reinforces my sadness and feelings of being completely lost.

What do you do when your feelings for someone just won’t go away? What do you do when meeting people, talking to guys, and dancing with other guys just makes the feelings you have for them stronger? Being around other guys just doesn’t feel right. It makes me even more lonely. It makes me miss him even more.

Giving him space doesn’t do anything. Talking to him doesn’t do anything.

What do you do when deep in your heart you can’t stop thinking about him? Even if he says you are wrong for each other and you feel like he is completely right for you.

I have no idea if he’s the one. I have no idea what my future is going to be like. All I know is that I feel like I missed out on being someone who really makes me happy. I know he’s not happy right now and me messaging him might not help him at all. I know I can’t fix his sadness. I have tried everything.

I know my friends say he’s not good enough and I have no idea if my parents would like him or not. I just like him. I just do. I feel like he thinks he’s not worthy of my feelings for him. I have so much hope in my heart for him. I know he is a good person, even if he can’t see that. I wish he could see how wonderful he truly is.

When you wait almost three years and then you finally find someone, it’s hard to let go. My intuition doesn’t always lead me in the right direction all the time, but this is one of those times where my intuition is strong. I feel like it’s the right thing to do, with all of my heart.

When I don’t talk to him, it cuts at my soul in ways I cannot explain. When I do talk to him, it makes me happy and lost all at the same time.

Everything was cut too short. I don’t know what to do anymore.


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