My email has been absolutely flooded with valentines-themed gifts and propaganda over the past several weeks. Victoria’s Secret, in particular, has had no qualms about reminding me that I am single and alone this year at Valentine’s Day. This is clearly nothing new to me.
If you had asked me, in August, if I was going to be alone at Valentine’s Day this year, I would have said no. I thought things were finally looking up for me. I was finally starting to think more positively about myself. My positivity has dwindled away, mostly. I’m finally starting to get a little bit of it back, piece by piece.
I went to the gym on Friday for the first time in Months. It felt good. We spent all weekend cleaning and organizing the house, and it felt good to be doing that with my roommates, and not all alone.
But I am still lost. I would like my second chance that I am never going to get.
And I’m really really tired of hearing about stupid Valentine’s day. I’m trying to come up with something special I can do for myself that day, to distract myself. Unfortunately, it’s on a Saturday, so that’s even more time that I have to kill. I would rather be at work, with the kids, celebrating.
I also think that it shouldn’t take one specific day every year to celebrate your love. Love should be celebrated every day, as much as possible.
But, I digress. It is a holiday. A highly publicized holiday. And I am going to be alone. I just have to get through it. I have to try and be strong.