So, on the radio on my way to work this morning, I heard a question posited to the listeners. The question was, “If a man became a woman for 24 hours, what do you think the biggest shock would be?” There would be so many in my mind… This radio segment made me begin thinking… I need to make a list, a sort of rant we’ll say, about all the things guys don’t understand about women. So here it is, inspired by the tiny clip of the conversation I was able to overhear this morning on my way to work.
Things Guys Don’t Understand About Women
(And Would Completely Shock Them If They Ever Did Become a Woman For 24 Hours)
(1) The people on the radio said otherwise, but I think that women think about sex just as much as guys do. They were right, we hardly ever think about our boobs, unless they are in the way of what we are trying to do, which if you are well-endowed, is almost every day at least once.
(2) We over think everything. EVERYTHING I can’t stress this enough. Stop saying weird shit and then not following through.
(3) Among the lines of us overthinking, women need confirmation that you are not blowing us off. We need to be told “It’s guys night, so I’ll talk to you tomorrow” or whatever. It is NOT helpful to not have seen us in a week, and on your day off go out with the guys and not tell us you are going to go or tell us that you have the day off or not tell us when you are going to see us next. And then ignore our texts which were sent before guys night even began. We are very observant and it becomes anxiety-provoking.
(4) This is also related: we plan EVERYTHING. We are not that spontaneous. Our day is planned like at least a week ahead of time. Change, while sometimes expected, is not always comfortable for us. We like a little heads up.
(5) Periods. Absolutely. Suck. So don’t tell us we are being babies. Have you ever had blood come out of your genitals? I certainly hope not, if you’re a guy. But most of us women deal with this problem every month for several days. And it’s weird. And if you were us for a day you would totally flip the shit out. It’s not fun when you are cramping so badly that you can’t get off of the toilet but you still have to go to work or school or whatever it is that you are doing and pretend that you feel normal.
(6) It’s weird when you put blankets or pillows on the floor. Or you move them. We like them where they already are. That’s why we put them there.
(7) If we drink just a little too much, we pay for it way more than you do. And if we do stupid shit, our buddies are not high fiving us like it was a good decision. We are getting lectured that we should never, ever, ever, do that again.
(8) We like to be answered when we text you. Even if it’s a day later. It’s polite.
(9) If we call you, please call us back. Otherwise our minds go to crazy scenarios and they scare us to death.
(10) If we are getting all dolled up to meet you out or with friends or whatever it means that we like you and we want to make a good impression. If we don’t put in effort, it means you are a friend. But pay attention to a girl who wears heels and a cute outfit. She likes you. If you like her back, work it.
(11) If we start talking about food we are trying to get you to hang out with us. Guys, if a woman is offering you food, take her up on the offer, for god’s sake. I’ve been told that a way to a guy’s heart is through his stomach (a little bit sexist I know, oh well) and if you like the girl, freaking let her cook for you. Even if the food is terrible. If it’s terrible, return the freaking favor. Cook a meal for the lady you care about. It’s not that difficult.
(12) Here’s one that’s just me, and I don’t know if any other ladies out there would agree with me or not. I hate surprises. I hate not knowing what’s going to happen. I hate unwelcome surprises even more than happy birthday surprises. Don’t do it. Communicate. I can’t stress this enough guys.