It’s not every day that you hear that your favorite holiday has been cancelled. They did not only cancel it for this year, but, for all the years to come. The holiday that is supposed to represent our country’s freedom and independence has suddenly been taken away. They had their legitimate reasons for why this change was to be, but I could not help but feel a tear trickle down my face.
I can’t let them see me cry. I can’t let them know what I feel. I have to hold my breath, even if I am shaking, even if my heart is pounding. Even if my breaths are short from exhaustion and I feel like cringing, I can’t let them know.
I used to spend the day with my family. Now they are far away and I had desired to spend the time with friends, instead. All I want to do is scream at the people who have made the decision. I don’t care if the festivities are becoming more and more dangerous with each passing day: all I want to do is relax, have a few beers, and stare up at the sky while the fireworks blast into the night.
In all this pain, anguish, and misunderstanding, I do know this: I will fight this. It will only benefit me to keep my mouth shut now, because in the end, my pain will become my productivity. My pain will become my motivation to fight them to the end. In the end, I will win. Losing will not be an option this time. I have fought too many battles to let them control what I can and cannot celebrate.
So yes, I do not know my pain or my tears. I have yearning inside of me that they will never see. I have fight in me that they will never understand. I am a fighter. I am a winner. They have not seen it yet. The battle is yet to come.