Today’s prompt for writing 101 reads:
“You stumble upon a random letter on the path. You read it. It affects you deeply, and you wish it could be returned to the person to which it’s addressed. Write a story about this encounter.
Today’s twist: Approach this post in as few words as possible.”
As anyone who reads this blog knows, I usually have a lot to say… when I begin to actually write my ideas down. Yesterday, my client was absent and so I was sent to another school to work. It just happened to be the one where my ex works. I was super nervous and yet, when I saw his face, I really honestly just felt relief.
He was wearing the stupidest pants I had ever seen. They were, I’m guessing, supposed to be dress pants, but made out of a jean-like material. They were red. Like the color red that comes in a kid’s marker set. That’s a true story. He was really wearing red pants and all I could do was laugh my ass off at how stupid he is.
Anyways, the letter I would hypothetically find is one that he wrote. Maybe it offers an explanation, but it does not offer an apology. It is not in his nature to be apologetic, even when it is warranted. Maybe it’s a love note, or a coming out of the closet note (I seriously considered this after seeing those red pants)… Maybe he is realizing that his wife only used him to get into this country and has found a more attractive and richer american to use.
It affects me deeply simply because it does not offer an answer to why my soul was crushed repeatedly. It does not explain why the loss that I felt was necessary for me to feel. It gives me no answer, no hope, no way out of the pain that I am feeling. The problem is that it does not change anything. What he did to me has already happened. There is no way out of that. The end goal will be to feel okay with myself and not have any desire to find the letter. When I stop wondering why that’s when I will be finally free.