curiosity.

I often wonder what heals a failed or broken relationship. Those trust issues are always going to be there. You are always going to remember the emotional pain and the disappointment. I don’t think it matters the length of the relationship, but the fact is that someone hurt you, and it is always going to be a part of you once it happens.

Listening to people’s stories about their failed relationships is quite a let down. I spent three years of my life glued to someone who eventually decided the relationship wasn’t what he wanted… and then he failed to tell me for months. People in the military come back from their third deployment only to tell their significant other of 8 years that they can’t be married to someone anymore because they can’t take care of themselves anymore.

Some people break up for no logical reason other than that they are unhappy. I’ve broken up with guys who I felt were too clingy and were stifling me. I’ve never understood what motivates the human heart to heal itself. You can watch as many romantic comedies, drink as much tequila, or put your energy into running… and your heart still hurts.

I feel better a little bit each day, but I don’t really know what’s causing me to feel better. Is it my friends? Is it time? Is it changing my attitude? I’ll never know. I’m not trying to be pessimistic, but I am curious as to how my heart is healing.

In conclusion, for all those desperate broken hearted people out there, I don’t really have any magical advice to offer you. I have pondered this time and time again. The only advice others have been able to offer me is “it takes time”. How much time, though? Do I just throw myself into the next potential relationship that comes up? Because I have been single for over a year and a half now, and I don’t know how to even begin to date. It’s almost comical. I do know that my trust issues are not going to go anywhere, and that it’s join to take a lot of my own personal strength to combat them.

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2 thoughts on “curiosity.

  1. I had a horrible tragedy of a relationship 2 years ago when my ex tried to kill herself. It is very painful, but I have worked to understand the pain I was feeling after the fact, by educating myself about personality disorders and the importance of healing the wounded inner child in all of us.

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