kaleidoscope.

Just when I thought life couldn’t get any more difficult, it certainly did. And it’s only been in the past week and a half or so. There is so much drama in my life right now. I despise drama. It often latches onto me, sucking away my soul and bringing on my demise. I have strength yet, but I am not sure how much more I can take.

Things were going all right at my new placement with my job, but I was beginning the search to move on to another company because it simply is time. Then my landlord delivers the news: he is bankrupt, losing the building, and wants us to move out in 30 days. I get that we have a month-to-month lease agreement, but if someone is in foreclosure, I’d hope that the tenants weren’t about to get screwed because the landlord was irresponsible.

It feels like we are going to get screwed, and we’ve always paid our rent each month, on time. The landlord is being all dramatic and blah blah blah. It’s difficult to find an apartment at this time of year on such short notice. So yes, I am frustrated. I am going to miss the apartment I’ve called home for nearly 3 years.

Anyways, I have to keep reminding myself: kaleidoscope. I am trying to keep an open mind in this whole situation. If I kaleidoscope my views on it, my feelings change a little bit and I begin to feel better. At least, temporarily. I don’t know where I will be living next month, and I don’t know what I want in life, but I do know, that I am a good person and that I will survive this. Even if I feel like crying in frustration and I fear being homeless, there are people who have my back. It’s great to feel supported.

I kaleidoscope with my eyes and suddenly I am back on that mountain, climbing again, and not on the plateau. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring me, but I don’t think it’s going to get worse. As long as I have my strength and my friends, I just will let my footsteps lead the way down the crooked path.

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