I’m going to go on a little rant tonight. Recently, while browsing my Facebook news feed, I came across this lovely status update and it began to make me think:
“If she doesn’t text you when she’s drunk. She’s not the one.”
Part of me wanted to laugh, and the other part of me wanted to scream in frustration. How absolutely childish… Not to mention, this person, in question, has received drunk texts from me in the past and I have pretty much almost begged him to take me on a date but he simply does not even take a hint… He sees me as someone who will be used as a fuck buddy, which I can stress from my previous posts, is simply something I am not willing to even give a try.
Another status posted by this person, that really got me going read:
“If women aren’t showing interest in you and you find yourself single for a long time, take it as a major compliment…. most women fall for assholes.”
I mean, honestly, if you’re single and you’re posting these kinds of statuses, don’t you kind of start to wonder that maybe YOU’RE THE PROBLEM? You have a relatively normal, single, emotionally unattached female asking you to follow up on that date you mentioned weeks ago, and you go posting bull shit like this? Maybe it’s just the guys in my generation or this is what guys in general are turning into (I certainly hope not) but this kind of stuff is starting to drive me nuts, regardless of who says it or posts it. These are inside your head thoughts. That’s something I say to my kids at work almost on a daily basis. So because guys seem to not understand women, I am going to postulate a few underlying comments that should be taken as advice that you should implement.
A few things guys need to understand about women but don’t:
(1) Women are simple. Stop calling us crazy. Stop complaining that we fall for assholes. If the guy is an asshole, there’s a reason we fell for him in the first place. He probably wasn’t an asshole to begin with. He probably understood romance and chivalry and waiting for sex until you’ve been dating a few months.
(2) Compliments help. A lot. Tell us “you have a nice rack.” Tell us “you’re beautiful.” It’s really not that hard. I say nice things about you. I tell you when you are wearing an article of clothing that I like. I’m not afraid to tell you that you have nice muscles or that your hair cut looks good. I tell you that you’re sexy. Regularly.
(3) We watch your every move on Facebook. If you post something completely narcissistic or stupid we see it. If you post about how much you work out for the ladies, we see that and we assume that you’re a slut who doesn’t know another way to meet girls. You hang out with tons of women who aren’t your girlfriends, we’ve seen that. We know what you’ve been up to. We aren’t going to completely hold it against you, but if there’s a lack of photos with you and your buddies, then we start to feel a little distrustful of your every move.
(4) If a girl says “yes” to a date, then she is not looking to be your fuck buddy. If we wanted to be your fuck buddy, we would just do it without the date. A girl who is looking for a fuck buddy knows how to find him. In a bar, late at night, relatively alone…. You get the picture.
(5) Dick pics will NEVER be flattering. They are not sexy at all. They are a little interesting, but they do not turn us on. You touching your junk in a close up photo/video, it’s not flattering and does not turn us on. Just because you sent us a picture of your junk does not make us want to send you a pic of our boobies. Figure out a better solution to wanting to see us naked. Take us out to dinner a few times and STOP BEING LAZY.
(6) If I text you ONLY when I’m drunk you should probably run away. This means I am too chicken to talk to you when I am sober or it means that I am only interested in you as a fuck buddy. It also might mean that I am simply bored and actually have no desire to hang out with you, ever. If you are a guy looking for a relationship, you want a girl who texts you at all times of the day and night, and who texts you in every state of mind.
(7) If you are single, and you have been that way for a while, then there is probably something wrong with you. You probably have acted like a douche but are convinced you are a nice guy. You are not a nice guy. You probably suck. You probably treat girls like they are trash items that you have discarded from food you have eaten that same day before you move on to the next meal. You are the problem here. I don’t go posting about my blah blah blah single status on Facebook for all of the world to see, I enjoy life. I meet friends and try and meet guys, only to discover that they know nothing about women.
I’m sure I could keep going, but someone out there probably wants me to stop. Guys, if there is a nice girl after you, stop messing it up. If you truly don’t want to be single anymore, give her a chance. If you are happy as a single person, then stop complaining about it and/or learn to understand and respect the women around you. It’s not that hard.