death.

So, since I am a morbid type of person, and think about the most ridiculous things sometimes, I am going to write a post that’s not really related to the posts I have previously written… Lately, I have been thinking about death. Not a lot, really, but it has been on the back burner in my mind for some time.

This summer, a person who was really close to our family took their own life. Now, I work in the field of mental health and I wish that he would have reached out to someone and asked for the help that he needed. I have a lot of faith that there is help out there. I would like to think that I am not working for nothing, along with all the people who are in the mental health field, trying to solve these issues. He, however, did not seek help that was successful in preventing his suicidal thoughts and paranoia. It will always be terribly sad to me that I did not get to say good bye or to tell him how he meant to our family and me.

Recently, a family member passed away, and I am regretting not calling her when the end of her life was nearing. It seemed to me, that since she had survived 95 long years of life, that she would continue to be around for much longer. Sadly, this was not the case, and I am feeling a strong sense of regret that I did not call her in those last few weeks of her life to tell her how much she meant to me.

Our people are very important. If someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, speak up. Ask questions. Tell them that you care. And if someone you know has a stroke, speak up. I know these angels are watching down on me, but it really stinks to have these “what if” thoughts.

Today, I was spacing out at work, and I was wondering who would come to my funeral if I died. I won’t ever know, because when I die, I will probably have no way of knowing. I just feel the need to reach out to those around me and send positive energy to them. I want to have a family someday so that when my life ends, I will have happiness surrounding me. I think that most people want this. I think that as humans, we need people so badly. I want to know that I have made an impression on the world, and touched others around me. I am going to strive to try and do so. I am hoping that those who are watching me from above know that they have made a huge difference in my life, and that they are missed each and every day.

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One thought on “death.

  1. ” I want to know that I have made an impression on the world, and touched others around me. I am going to strive to try and do so.”

    Thank you for sharing. Since a year ago December I’ve been dealing with suicides, deaths, and murders a lot more… in the sense that family, friends or people I know through work are having to live through these times of pain. It’s so hard, not knowing what to say, do, or even how to help. I’ve been privileged to be able to get some training now in the area of Suicide First Aid and Post-Vention, and will be taking a Grief and Support course later this month. Today, in fact, all I could do was leave a phone message, saying I was thinking about these people and left my phone number… and they called back! I was amazed, thinking that they wouldn’t, because they’re way too busy or hurting too much, but they did! I could pray with them, offer my concern, and let them know they are loved.

    I think we’re on the right track.

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