benefits

I may have possibly missed something that I did not before. There are benefits to not being in a relationship. I have my qualms about being single around the holidays; it absolutely sucks to see all the happy couples and be the only single one at family time. However, there are a few benefits that I am probably going to begin a list of (maybe to refer to in the future or even to add to).

1) My bed does not get messed up. I cant even count the number of times where I made my bed all pretty only to have my pillows be thrown on the floor and comforter be falling off me in the middle of the night so I was freezing.

2) My pillows do NOT end up on the floor. I could go into more detail about this, but I enjoy keeping my pillows on my bed. If completely necessary, and there’s no way to work around the extra pillows, they go on a chair. NOT on the floor.

3) I can control what goes in and on my bed. There are certain things (i.e.: feet, shoes, bags, dirty laundry) that I do not want on my bed. It is okay to lie on top of the bed with work clothes or gym clothes on, but not under the covers. It’s nice to keep my bed clean.

4) I can go for a week without shaving my legs in the winter. Any ladies out there will agree with me. It’s absolutely horrible to shave your legs because by the end of the day the hair has grown back and you have stubble. So it’s nice to have hairy legs and have no one know but yourself. The secret is pants.

5) I don’t have to impress anyone. If I randomly attract a guy in a bar or other public place, it is completely by accident. No offense, but my legs are hairy and I am not trying to impress you. I don’t even remember the last time I plucked my eyebrows. Suck it up.

6) You don’t have to wait for anyone. Yes I know girls take a while to get ready, but there’s always that guy who says “okay, you take so long to get ready” and waits for the girl to be COMPLETELY ready before he begins and then the girl has to wait even longer, when the whole time she has been trying to rush. I don’t have to wait for the guy to get out of the shower. I can get right in and take as long as I want. I don’t have to wait until he gets out of work to see him. I don’t have to wait to watch the next episode of my new favorite show. It’s already on.

7) I get to smell bad and save money on perfume. Boom.

8) I can do my laundry less since I’m not saving my good underwear for anything. I can wear whatever underwear I want and I don’t have to feel stressed out that it doesn’t match my bra.

9) I can check out any guy that I want. Any time, any place. I could even act on those impulses (but I don’t).

10) I can move to Burma or some shit. Right now. No one is stopping me from making any big life decisions like that.

11) I can go out with my friends whenever I want to. No one can tell me no. No one can ask me to  stay in for a movie night instead or whine about not wanting to go out, and then go out and act like a total pussy for the rest of the night.

12) I don’t have to give anyone any rides. Nor do I feel obligated. If someone asks me and I totally do not feel like it, I can say no. This is huge. I can also blast my own music and sing really loudly and nobody is judging me in my car.

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