Man oh man, I know weddings are about the two people getting married and all but I don’t understand all the drama behind them. I guess because I’ve never had one of my own, but I’ve attended a lot and worked even more weddings (from when I was a dj assistant). I know this isn’t about me, but it’s kind of hard not to feel that way.
Let me explain… I have a close friend from college, 11 years to be exact, that I consider one of my best friends, even if we don’t talk that much. Apparently that view is one-sided. I asked months ago if I was invited to his wedding, since I know his bride too, since we all went to college together. He said yes. Except I asked him when I was drunk and then forgot. So sober me asked again and he told me of course!
Don’t tell someone that they’re invited when they are not. It’s tacky and hurtful and downright insulting.
Anyways, time goes by and of course, no invite or word on what’s happening. So I ask again, and he asks for my address… nothing comes in the mail. I don’t think anything of it, thinking it’s maybe a late fall wedding or something.
Then, I get an invite via Facebook to go to the bachelorette party. Then I start getting suspicious that I’m not invited because I haven’t heard a damn thing. So then I ask the girl who’s putting on the bachelorette thing when the wedding is. September 30th. So, not a late fall wedding but less than 2 weeks away.
The GROOM texts me and asks me if I can make it to the bachelorette but doesn’t say anything about the wedding. I’m starting to get super annoyed and confused. They change the date of the bachelorette to TWO DAYS before the wedding. I am still invited. They are sending me messages to see if I can drive down 2 hours away, on a FRIDAY, TWO DAYS BEFORE THE WEDDING.
Anyways, I asked the groom again if I’m invited. He says that I can probably go to the reception but the ceremony is small and reserved for family and he will let me know. A few more days go by, the wedding is less than a week away, and I still haven’t heard if I am invited to the damn wedding. I text again. No reply. I text the next day, and he finally replies that he has too many family members and there was nothing he could do. My heart breaks into a million pieces and I start sobbing in my car as I am driving home from work (which really isn’t all that safe).
I cried for the fact that someone could do this to another human being. If I say you’re invited to something, especially something as important as my wedding, you’re invited. Unless we have a huge falling out and you sleep with my future husband and stab me in the back or something, you are still invited.
I cried because it made me feel awkward to nag him about being invited to his wedding if I wasn’t wanted there.
I cried because it made me feel like our friendship was over and that I didn’t matter to him (or her).
I cried because it was super awkward to be invited to the bachelorette thing but not the wedding. I also felt that since I hadn’t heard directly from the bride herself that I wasn’t wanted at the bachelorette party either.
I cried because time goes by way too fast sometimes and I just can’t handle it.
So basically, this week hasn’t been my favorite week. I just spent the entire day alone instead of at the wedding of two people who I really care about. I just realized that I probably don’t matter to them as much as they matter to me.
I hate having feelings, guys.
PS. I didn’t go to the bachelorette thing. I was feeling too sad and awkward and didn’t want to deal with being uncomfortable and stressed out the whole time. I don’t know if it was the right decision, but it’s what I did.