I know I haven’t been writing in ages. I keep telling myself you have to write. You HAVE to write. I keep getting distracted and lazy and then randomly super busy and then exhausted. The joys of being a teacher and having summer off for a few weeks and then working summer school for a few weeks. There’s too much freedom, followed by a weird schedule.
Anyways… I have to just like talk about something super personal right now. I just have to. There’s no other way I’ll be able to get the events of this morning out of my brain.
Anyone who suffers from IBS can probably relate. Every morning there is this URGENT need to go at some point between when you wake up and when you leave the house. Sometimes I’ll sit in my car and then have to go back inside my house because I fear that I won’t make it the 20-25 minute drive to work. It’s absolutely terrifying and annoying all at the same time.
Sometimes I go to the bathroom TWO TIMES before I leave the house and then I still have to go once or twice more once I get to work. It really depends on what I ate the day before, what I eat for breakfast, and how stressed out I am. Only worrying about the fact that this might be the one time you actually shit your pants makes you worry even more, causing you to feel the need to go immediately even more than before.
IBS is an insufferable bitch and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
I’ve been doing ok lately. I go once or twice before I leave in the morning and then I go again once or twice at work before the kids arrive. It sucks. I don’t want to have to go at work, but I honestly can’t hold it and I’m afraid of what will happen if I ever were to try.
This morning I was NOT doing ok. I could not go at all before I left the house and boy, did I try. You know when I started to feel like I have to go RIGHT NOW? When I was stuck in bumper to bumper traffic on the highway that was more traffic than usual. That was when I started to panic.
I noticed the exit right before me has a gas station so I snuck into the right lane and barely managed to get off of the highway in time to make the exit. And then I have a praise the lord moment because there is a gas station right there right away!
I go inside. There is a sign that says “restrooms” which anyone with IBS knows is super helpful because then you don’t have to have the embarrassing moment where you ask someone where the bathroom is. I get to the door, there is a red sign that says “in use.” I wait and I wait and I wait and I wait. I don’t hear anything coming out of the bathroom. The guy at the counter notices me waiting and attempts to buzz me in. I say “it says it’s in use but thank you though.” I continue to wait.
Another customer sees me waiting and suggests I try the men’s room. Now we are approaching a high level of desperation at this point so I ask him to buzz me into the men’s room. There is urine EVERYWHERE. I mean it is all over the floor, in the toilet itself, all over the seat. I have been dying for approximately 10 minutes total at this point, nearly pooping my pants, that I consider cleaning up and doing some kind of wide legged squat just so I don’t totally embarrass myself even further. Then I realize there’s no toilet paper.
I scream in frustration and leave the men’s room only to find that the person in the women’s room STILL has not left. So then I frantically knock at the door to let them know I am here and I am here and urgently waiting. I get a huge amount of attitude and yet nothing else happens.
More time goes by and I finally hear a flush. Thank Baby Jesus. Then nothing. Then like almost a minute goes by and I hear the sink. Then the person slowly comes out. Then she gives me a dirty look and slams the door in my face. I then have to ask the worker to buzz me in AGAIN because she has made the door lock me out of the bathroom. The other customers see the whole thing and are PISSED. She was wearing a gray polo, so she might have very well been an employee. At this point, I don’t even care.
I go in and quickly do my thing. The bathroom is SPOTLESS. No bad smells, no sign of WHY ON EARTH it was taking her so long just to use the bathroom. In the 30 or so seconds that I am in there trying to quietly unload, I hear the other customers FURIOUSLY complaining about how rude that lady was to me.
I come out exceptionally mortified and then the other customers proceed to tell me they are all on my side and that I should file a complaint. At this point I know I’ll be late to work, just for needing to stop to relieve my IBS symptoms, and I am just like it’s okay but thank you for being on my side.
I leave and just have my jaw dropped the entire ride to work and now it’s like 5 hours later and I am still in total shock that another human being could be so rude to someone who was clearly in some kind of distress.
Was she in there doing drugs or having a similar experience or just taking a break? I will never know. I get that him doing the buzzer may have freaked her out or been annoying or that she might have been having a bad day. I get it. But there’s no need to be rude to other people in a situation like that.
I’m sitting here just in total shock that someone could treat someone that way.
I am also thinking it’s a miracle that I didn’t poop my pants because of such a trashy excuse for a human being.
I hope she NEVER has to deal with the terrifying urgency that comes from being a sufferer of IBS.
I watch what I eat. I hardly eat junk food. I have cut out soy, garlic, onions, gluten, broccoli, brussels sprouts, and I constantly weigh the risks of the food that I eat when I am out in restaurants. I have done countless research on eating a diet with low FODMAPS. I exercise and go to yoga and try not to stress.
Living with this disease is an ENDLESS source of immense discomfort and stress. What I really want this lady to know is that I hope she never has to feel like she will have to poop her pants in front a whole store full of customers because someone decides it’s appropriate to take TEN MINUTES in the bathroom when they know FULL WELL someone else is waiting.
I hope she never has any kind of medical emergency or extreme mortification that other people get to witness.
Karma is a total asshole and it comes for people who act trashy, but I still wouldn’t wish IBS on anyone.
I really wouldn’t.